Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
