I wanna bring you to show and tell
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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