I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
