He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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