guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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