best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
