Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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