these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
