Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
