when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
