I'm gonna have a badass scar
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
