I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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