I got chris browned last night
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
