Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize