I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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