she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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