I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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