so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize