If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
