we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
