we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize