I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
