He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
