Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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