He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
