we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
