somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
