How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
