Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
