New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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