found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize