AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
