I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
