I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Randomize
