is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
