thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
