Please, let me fuck your mom
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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