we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
