Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
