I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
