some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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