I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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