Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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