so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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