I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
