Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
