Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
