I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Small penises have feelings too.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize