Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
