i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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