i just wanna soil my oats bro
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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