I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Randomize
