margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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