Moan for me like Helen Keller
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
