Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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