just come out here and I will go home with you...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
As shirtless as possible
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
