I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
