I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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