Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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