Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
